Just where do you think you're going?? Are you wearing underwear, knickers, lingerie and ofter hardware under your cycling shorts?? If yes, just imagine someone plugged out a huge 8ft stop sign from the ground with utmost urgency and stuck it in your face while an elephant provides the mother of all trumpeting!
Wearing underwear under padded cycling shorts is like riding with your shorts full of broken glass. I mean, imagine someone exploded a Schott glass with dynamite and then slipped the remains from a laboratory funnel right into your shorts. Happy trails!
And we did not even get to the most important part YET.
If you've got cheesy flowers, Mickey Mouse and other nonsense on the underclothing, they'll show through your colored Lycra shorts which will obviously knock the person drafting behind you out of consciousness. Which will then knock the others behind them out of line and others behind them out of their lines... and so on and so forth, until you're all done with a wonderful zero mile ride and all you've done all day is collecting loose pieces of skin from the road to piece yourself together.
Oh..alright...maybe if you're the type of bloke who likes to shoot for a Nobel Peace Prize in microbiology, we might be able to understand why the multitude of fungal infections harvested from the bulbous boils around your nether regions are of any immediate use to you.
So unless you're the above, or you're pulling off a gimmick as an underwear salesman or just someone really bent on publicly exhibiting the variety in the underwear drawer, please oblige and do us all a favor.
While you're changing in the restroom, we'll be having a long talk with your mom.
ADDITIONAL READING :
* * *