5 ShamWow Shammies

Vince called me today with his headphones and attached mouthpiece as I was heading out to lunch.

He told me that in an effort to diversify his product line to new markets, he's extending the popular ShamWow influence to cycling shorts.


In cycling, every second counts. ShamWow Shammies as they are called, will now allow competitive cyclists to take advantage of the warm feeling of German technology in the groins. Spilled coke on the saddle after a long ride? Messy sports drink on your derailleur? Sweat and muck stuck on your brand new carbon frame? No worries. With ShamWow Shammies, all you gotta do is rub your bottom over the mess in circular motions, and Sham! its gone!

Whats more, there's no need of washing! ShamWow Shammy's UpLink technology wirelessly transfers the dirty liquid molecules to a quarantine facility in exquisite Germany, where they will be destroyed using strong Fascist force.

All this Wow factor does not come cheap as this is superior, patented German technology. We're wondering whether it'll be able to clean the sour spots in our wallets.