Monday, February 08, 2010

7 A Shimano Solution To Toyota's Accelerator Problem

Dear Cyclists (& Pedestrians),

This is a notice.

Cozy Beehive is calling out a Worldwide Cyclist Death Or Possible Injury Alert For Immediate Make Officialling, also called WCDOPIAFIMO for short.

In the upcoming days, months and possibly even years, you will surely die or get severely injured out on the road if you don't stay away from something called a TOYOTA. Even worse, really old women with Toyota's. Now that can be even worse.

Steve Woz, the co-founder of Apple, has taken down many many individuals already with his Prius. Steve and his Toyota have both been arrested.

Meanwhile, we from the cycling community present Toyota's President Akio Toyoda with a temporary but bold suggestion to counter the car's recent misconduct on the road.

Mr. Toyoda :

All malfunctioning Toyota's should hereby be outfitted with Shimano Dura-Ace cycling pedals. Motorists have to wear Shimano's cycling shoes to clip into them.

The car is to be fitted with the same sensor technology that is installed in airplanes for stall warning. The Toyota's computer system, by way of an obnoxious Japanese voice, screams "Pull Up ... Pull Up!!!". Since the motorist's cycling shoes interface with the pedals, they can at once pull pedal with their feet to get the stuck accelerator back to neutral.

Shimano's carbon soles reduce excess weight needed to pull up with feet. Moreover, the carbon footprint in this forceful pulling up action is also small. All in all, an easy, green solution to a dangerous problem.

Thank you dear cyclists for reading this Worldwide Cyclist Death Or Possible Injury Alert For Immediate Make Officialling. And thank you Mr. Toyoda for considering this solution.

* * *


  1. Anonymous9:30 PM

    Just make sure your car is in park before clipping in. Other than that..sounds do-able. Good suggestion! ;)

  2. Anonymous11:33 PM

    Been driving a Toyota for 5 years. Very reliable, no issues.

  3. Hmm..what happens if the pedals are recalled?

  4. these are the same scumbags who for years ran a television promotion on PBS depicting passing a bicyclist on a tight bend with a solid yellow line and not moving out of the lane to do it.


    and no. the clickety clickety of cleated shoes should remain the sole domain of those who actually produce motive power with their legs. more pretenders? no thanks!

    sorry. i don't see the humour in tolerating those who promote unsafe behaviour in their marketing.

  5. Anonymous2:07 PM


  6. Let's hear it for my favorite pedal! And yes, I own a Prius, too.


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