She left the White House for the G20 Summit donning a white custom ivory tulle tweed coat with grossgrain piping (whatever on earth that is). From there, it was all downhill. She changed to a yellow silk dress with a studded belt on Air Force One to land in London, met with the London Prime Minister's wife embellished with beads and rhinestones, wore a funeral dress to meet with the Queen and then took off the top cardigan to display her biceps during tea time with her Majesty.
Erm. One word.
Disaster.
It is now left to some of us, style gurus of cycling, to advice the First Lady on what bike to pick and what clothes to wear for future occasions so that she doesn't resort to committing the same no-no's when on two wheels. Obviously we don't want Mrs. Obama to ride a white Colnago out of the Whitehouse, change to Chinese made jerseys and shorts that have lead in them which will tick off the airport's security systems, or ride a Walmart bike with triathlete shorts on to meet with the Queen in royal environment.
My idea was to create a Project One for Mrs. Obama's biking choices, similar to TREK bicycling's customization application. This will get her tricked out and all set to bike in whatever globalized mess of a crisis the world throws at her.
Apparel choices in Project One will strictly be from the following :
Compagnolo Sportswear
Assos
Santini Summer and Winter Fashion
Giordana
Nike Swift Skinsuit
Capoforma
Tweed Suit
Primal Wear
Bike choices in Project One will strictly be from the following :
Auramania (24 carat gold bike, hand adorned with 600 Svarovski crystals)
Strida (Fastest Folder)
GoCycle (Thixomolded Magnesium E-Bike)
Richard Sachs Custom Built Dream Bike
Go-One Velomobile (enclosed, reclined position)
Cervelo P4 (badass TT bike)
Koga Miyata Track (million dollar track bike)
Terry Valkyrie Cross (Elegant women's cross bike)
The question I would now pose to you is this : What combination of clothing and bikes with be most appropriate for her in the following situations -
1) Doing chores around the White House
2) Going for a ride on a Washington D.C trail
3) Hotel to G-20 summit
4) Post G-20 stress buster group ride
5) Biking in Saudi Arabia after a Mid-East visit
6) Speed challenge against Queen Rania of Jordan
7) London cycling clinic with Queen Elizabeth in attendance
8) Volunteer work with special needs kids in a bike shop
9) Famous Alumni Day ride at Princeton University
10) A visit to Paris for Stage 21 of the 2009 Tour de France
Style gurus of cycling, what are your recommendations for the First Lady in the above situations? Fire your comments and thoughts away. Make this a creative exercise. Remember, there is no one solution to each of the 10 problems.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
12 Project One : Customizing Mrs.Obama For Cycling
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I bet she doesn't have to do any "chores" around the whitehouse. But I can see if she were to do a little hardening outside, she could use a Terry X bike. Primal wear outfit? :)
ReplyDeleteOops I meant gardening ..!
ReplyDeleteShe should host a G-20 stress buster group ride on a Terry Cross wearing the Giordana carbon bib shorts (she's wearing them underneath that funeral suit)... and she should make sure that the President is wearing that dashing Lumatwill Tweed with a tropical tweed cycling cap (no helmet).
ReplyDeleteJack
If she were to be late for her G20 meeting, I guess she could opt for the Nike Swift skinsuit with the Cervelo P4. I'll also specifify ShimaNO's electronic gruppo..and a durable set of wheels. I think Mrs. Obama would break a lot of weightweenie wheels.
ReplyDeleteA lavish Arumania with Campy sportswear for the Saudi trip. That'll teach the Arabs how we do it.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what a few of these fashions and don't feel like knowing all of them if you catch my drift...but here are customizing suggestions that are mostly confined to Project One:
ReplyDelete1) Doing chores
hmm...more like ride a trainer or preferably rollers in the white house while maids do choirs...Sachs custom fit bike to ensure getting used to a natural efficient position when training. with most comfortable chamois for indoors, maybe Assos. a sweat band on forehead for sure to keep sweat off a custom bike!
2. Washington D.C. trail:
Terry Valkyrie Cross
Primal Wear camouflage with tattoo armwarmers and pink helmet and socks that say "Dopers Suck".
3. Hotel to G-20 Summit:
Don't know what the travel is like here but when in doubt carry or ride a Strida. wear Santini
4. Post G-20 stress buster group ride
Auramania. with black, white and pink...Assos
5. Biking in Saudi Arabia
bike with troops on a Sachs wearing something very climate appropriate ultra cool unless biking near nighttime when things supposedly get cool over there
6. Speed challenge against Queen Rania of Jordan
competing with a queen? they should be evenly matched unless the queen picks a favorite bike based on looks not aerodynamics.
Cervelo P4, Nike Swift Skinsuit, shoe covers, no gloves (slightly more aero that way) Koga Miyata Track for track portion of race, wear skinsuit. Road race, Sachs
7. 7) London cycling clinic with Queen Elizabeth in attendance.
something for the common person like a singlespeed...I guess the Strida...wear something like a skort (shorts with a cycling made skirt over top) and a not to tight top (for common person type of bicycling clothes not race style).
8. Volunteer work with special needs kids in a bike shop.
In a bike shop? Well if they are doing any repairs or building bikes for special needs kids she needs a jean shirt over her bike shirt and a shorts/skirt skort again maybe with a Livestrong cap. Then no jean shirt but a regular pink shirt when riding.
9 Famous Alumni Day ride at Princeton University.
A Sachs or Terry but so to prevent "flip flopping" just bring the Sachs. She will need to wear one of the Project One outfits with a sleeveless top. Then ask Princeton Cycling Team race team for an extra (cleaned) team jersey to put over that.
10 A visit to Paris for Stage 21 of the 2009 Tour de France.
red white and blue outfit with red white and blue custom painted Sachs
Maybe a Sachs instead of a Strida for the scenario 7 ride clinic.
ReplyDeleteFantastic!
ReplyDeleteThis is a pretty funny post. Great comments too :)
ReplyDeleteYou guys miss the joke!
ReplyDelete#5 is a trick: It doesn't matter what she wears, as long as she's covered up: Mrs. Obama will have to sit around with the other women while the boys go for their guys-only bicycle ride.
It is illegal for a woman to ride a bicycle in Saudi Arabia (as far as I know).
Rhiannon : ;) You got it. We'll all get beheaded if we don't cover our knees out there. You are correct!
ReplyDeletenice article on the first wife there Ron.
ReplyDeleteSorry I haven't been reading your posts much lately... this semester (my last) has been pretty busy and stressful... I'll have to catch up on the readings soon!