During the last holiday season, UPS was making big ooos and awes with its 'green' delivery program on bicycles instead of relying on trucks. But irony has it that these guys still don't know how to package and deliver a bicycle properly.
UPS..aka United Parcel Smasher.. has found its latest victims, this time none other than the popular bike retailer Competitive Cyclist and one of their customers.
One first look at the shady exterior of box and you wonder whether the cardboard was used as asswipe, and later tossed out of a helicopter circling high above customer's house.
Unboxing it revealed the corpse of what was originally a sweet Pegoretti Marcelo. Now it looked as if it was chewed on by a big, ugly crocodile to form a Pegoretti Marshmellow.
The frame was 'professionally' packaged like a porn star, with about the same amount of protective cladding as Pamela Anderson had in her best days.
The autopsy shows that this baby went through some serious hurt, enough to send Dario Pegoretti foaming in the mouth, and convulsing in his workshop.
After such an expert wreck, UPS may still whisper lovingly :
"What can Brown do for you?"
"Please! I fall on my knees and plead, nothing more! Just acknowledge the pile of claim forms I'll be sending you with utmost fury. "
...."Oh...and just wondering...should I ship that through you or Fedex?"
Additional Reading :
UPS Ruined My Bike - Bikeforums
UPS Bike Damage Public Complaint