9 Camelback Tucknology To Be Used With The P4

Image courtesy : Thomas Sharpe

Camelback is back, releasing their new line of complete storage solutions to be used with the ridiculous Cervelo P4. The company's engineers wanted something whose design would excellently blend in with the voluptuous lady like curves of the frame tubing while giving unprecedented cubic space to hide vials of EPO.

However, the real benefits of the design are pretty revolutionary, we must say :

1. Worry Free No Hands Riding Tucknology : Competing directly with the imagineers of the Shimano empire for industry space in automatic bike control, this new design allows one to ride ride hands free, giving you the freedom to, say, read a newspaper or flip through a Harry Potter novel... or...even to gesture animatedly with both hands as you abuse someone on the cell phone for persistently calling you while you're busy on your ride. Just a tap on the head of the tucknology is all thats necessary for making precise adjustments to steering angle while you're deeply engaged in other dangerous activities.

2. Recharging : It must be said that the tucknology has to be recharged on every ride, but wait till you hear that's the easiest part. Riders sweat many many buckets of salt that would otherwise form salt crystals that hang from frame tubing and in shoddy crevices formed by cable housing. This would eventually all go to waste. Well, like they say "No Sweat", the tucknology is designed to lick this out from the bike like the first time a kid saw a bunch of Caramello bars. This is an incredibly sustainable practice in a time when we're clearly having a global salt crisis, as evidenced through the climbing rates of obesity with little output of sweat.

3. Huh, Tucknology? : We've mentioned it a few times here, tucknology tucknology. Well, you might be wondering what the heck is this 'tucknology'. Bray-ce yourself. The tucknology is simply a fancy word for the smallest frame package that can satisfy the above requirements but will be sufficiently tucked in and aerodynamic at the same time. It gets smarter than that. During periods of childbirth, when the package is even larger and more aerodynamically ovalized (or ovulated), it provides a suitable fairing for the ugly space in the front triangle and a great source of warmth for those of you commuting between hamlets in Siberia. This provides a large impetus for the rider to get out and ride and put as many miles as they can on their bike before the tucknology..errr.... delivers.

While the UCI has threatened to impose sanctions at the company for unscruplously bringing tucknologies to the market that are way ahead of its time, Camelback is pretty confident about comfortably selling its units. However, nobody from the company was available today to comment on the obvious copyright infringement as claimed by Abu Bakr Mujahideen - an eccentric nomadic spokesman for nature.


Courtesy : Thanks to Tom's Cycling Blog for ideas