Note : I'm listening to dance music and trying to motivate myself here. This is a ritual I do once or twice a month. I do it through writing. Its my way of staying alive, and preserving myself in this world of myriad rat races.
Its an eternal question lingering in your mind. Or atleast in mine. How on earth do you find time to do everything you want and like to do with all those classes, job, homework. We clearly spend 10-12 hours in school or just doing school based work nowadays. What about the things that you like doing? I lost touch with my passion for writing and drawing. I don't get to be with friends a lot too. I would love to spend time riding my bike more, continuing my self-taught learning in 3d modelling and animation or play chess. Where am I going wrong? Or is someone going to promise me that I'll get these things once I get my degree? Wait, then I have to worry about my job, getting a car, my insurance policies, money.
Seems like life today is so busy we've lost touch with the child in us, who wants to laugh, cry out loud, experiment with things around him for fun, be with friends. How do we find a time to give an expression to this side of ours? Its waiting in me to explode. Unfortunately, it has sunk. I find it highly impractical to make a schedule and stick to it at all times. Its impossible. I mean who would want to live like a robot. I'm only 21 for Christ's sake.
It also seems like an engineering school passes one year after another, and as class sizes get smaller and students smarter or otherwise, I'm one of the very few introspective people left behind. I think stress builds on you when you're left doing the things that you're forced to do all the time, not the things that you necessarily enjoy. These days, I don't feel that adventurous, or energetic. Don't tell me I'm growing up. This is defintely a stress. A pressure. When you're given papers of rules, quizzes, homeworks, projects etc from 6 or 7 classes, more papers, rules and regulations from airports, from the country that you're in..when you're trying to stick by your roots and not go astray in a world where its so easy to start a habit if you're favorite filmstar or music person did it, or your friend influenced you...when you're expected to do more from your parents far away in another country....it is a pressure that could change you. It could make you stoic. It could make you stop enjoying your life. You could be seen with an IpoD in your ears to motivate you, as you enter school, talk with absolutely no one, and exit school the same way you came. Wait, I don't even listen to music all that much.
Now I am. Someone told me that I'm ruining myself and can't be a butterfly in a world of beasts anymore.
If you got to get something done, and you don't have the time to do it, you have to a little selfish to GET it done. Go catch the people who'll help you. Hear music. Stop thinking about this big mountain of work on you and stop telling yourself you enjoy doing it either. JUST DO IT, right? Why should you change? Why can't you be the same person you want to be? Go do your thing, boy! Yeah, thats what I'm talking about.
Be a cheetah in the wild. Be a peregrine falcon in the air. Catch your prey. Do it humbly. Leave your pride for another day, when you look back and say, I went through that and came out ALIVE!
Friday, September 29, 2006
Labels: Buzz Pollinated by Ron George